Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Traveling Wild: Flying with baby

photo by lamouredeparis.com
Howdy y'all! I'm about to start a new series here at Through Abby's Lens. I'm going to recap our first international trip with Wilder - to (where else?) France and Italy... and a little bit of Switzerland. Traveling with a baby is a LOT different than traveling as a couple. Zach and I learned a lot of things the hard way, as well as through research on the good ol' internet. My hope is through this series, I can encourage other families with young children to just take the plunge and go on that trip. Taking your kids abroad (or heck, even across the state) can be an intimidating thought, but don't let the fear of all the extra logistics get you down and keep you at home. With some extra planning, a huge helping of patience and some compromise, you can continue to travel, avec baby.

Cinque Terre with Zach in 2008-our first international trip together!
Travel is one of Zach's and my core family values. We make it a priority, and when we had Wilder, we decided we didn't want to let go of traveling the world. In 2014, our dear friends living in Paris, Stacy and Jason Gulledge (If you don't know who they are, you must be new to my blog :-)), messaged us and our Supper Club cohorts to talk about an international rendezvous. My brother-in-law Grant and his wife Jashley were up for a Grand Tour of Europe, so we decided to make the trip happen... with Wilder, a 10-month-old baby. So in October 2014, we headed across the pond.

About to leave DFW airport for France!

One of the biggest obstacles to traveling with a baby is transportation. We'll talk about cars and trains in other posts, but for now I want to tackle THE PLANE.

Lake Annecy! photo by Stacy Reeves
Babywearing vs. a stroller
First, to navigate the airport, I highly recommend babywearing. For this trip, I wore Wilder in a Tula soft structured carrier. Zach prefers the Boba 4G carrier, and we brought that too, but I ended up wearing Wilder most of the time. Wearing your baby in the airport keeps him/her contained and (usually) happy, it gives you free hands and it makes navigating stairs and such much easier than a stroller. We did not bring a stroller on this trip, and while my back and shoulders hurt at times, there were maybe three times where I wished I had one. The rest of the time I was thankful I was wearing him. That is just my preference. A stroller may work better for you.

If you do bring a stroller, travel crib and/or car seat, some airlines will let you check them for free. American did for us. Usually you can check the stroller at the gate, so don't worry about giving that up when you check in. But you do need to confirm that with the airline. You also need to make sure you designate on one of your tickets that you have an infant. Children are free under two years, but they DO have to be on someone's ticket!

Planning the flight
Planning for the flight is vastly different with a baby vs. without. Before baby, I would pick what books I wanted to read, which seat would be most comfy, which movies I wanted to watch, and decide if I wanted to watch more movies, or get some rest? Which drink do I want? Did I bring my passport? Flying with baby: I planned what toys and activities would occupy Wilder on the flight, and what would fit in the diaper bag, we picked seats that would be convenient with the baby, and I realized that rest and movie watching were probably not going to happen in my particular situation.

Flight time
I've been told flying during bedtime and naps is the best idea. I think that depends on your child. That seemed to work for us, but know that they won't sleep as well as they do at home. We didn't have a choice on our flight to France, so we flew overnight. On the way back, we flew during the day. I would say both were hard. I didn't sleep much on the way there, but Wilder did sleep in my arms. So I arrived exhausted. On the way back, we didn't sleep much either because it was daytime, and that required a lot more entertaining. So we arrived exhausted. Jet lag will be another blog post, but it's NO JOKE with babies.

Seating arrangement
 I've heard several theories about seating for airplanes with a child under 2 - a lap baby. One said to choose different rows so that your child has a new view. We wanted to be together, so we didn't do that. Another suggested getting a window and an aisle seat, so the center seat would most likely be empty if the flight wasn't full. We did request this, and I highly recommend it. We found having the two of us as buffers and Wilder in the middle to be the best situation. We have flown several times with Wilder, and all of the times, we found that staff was surprisingly helpful. They were very kind and accommodating. It's worth having a conversation at check in, and at the front gate, about seating. You can find out if there's a row with an empty seat, sometimes people can get moved around--really, it's amazing what can be done if you ask politely and have a baby in tow. It's ALWAYS worth an ask!

Many people recommend buying a seat and putting a car seat in it for your child. If you luck out with an empty seat near you, you don't need to pay, but it's a gamble. Wilder was under 2, so we didn't buy a seat. But the good news is you can wait till you get to the gate to check a car seat, so you can find out if you'll have an empty seat at that point. Next time we fly, I will most likely put the car seat in a seat for Wilder. How many times can I say "seat" in a paragraph? whew!

We got a bassinet, and a bulkhead seat. We asked for the bassinet at check in, and the gate. They were kind and gave us the bulkhead, with a bunch of empty seats around us. So we had three extra seats on the flight there. That was a blessing, because we had a lot of stuff (lesson learned) and we were able to give Wilder some space. The downside to the bulkhead was that the bassinet was attached out of my reach (yay leg room) and it was very shallow. We didn't end up using it because I was afraid he'd fall out. I didn't bother getting it for the return flight. I know some friends have had great success with a bassinet, so I would recommend getting one, just in case. On the flight back, we had one empty seat in between us and it worked well too, but the space was more cramped after getting spoiled in the bulkhead. But... it was slightly easier to get to our things because they were in front of us. So, it was a tradeoff.

Takeoff and landing
On takeoff and landing, I had been told to nurse the baby to help his ears. I brought a cover for my own comfort, so that is what I did for some flights. If Wilder finished nursing before we took off for some reason, I gave him a pacifier. The sucking helps with baby ears, and it helps calm them.

So excited to be on his first international flight!

Food and activities
Wilder was newly into baby-led weaning on this trip, so we brought some easy snacks for him. I discovered that he LOVED eating puffs out of a pill dispenser. SO much... I did not bring enough puffs. He ate it all on the flight.. and we quickly ran out in Europe. FYI, you cannot buy baby puffs anywhere that we could find in Europe. We definitely looked in three different countries... So if puffs are your baby's jam, stock up!! Other things we brought: cheerios, orange slices, strawberries and quartered grapes. Now that he's older, he really likes pouches, so I would incorporate those. We tried to bring low-mess snacks, and hand wipes, and a bib. We'll talk food later, but BLW is a great way to travel with a kid!

Toys... I picked up some things at the dollar store so he would have new toys, but many of them were not a hit. It's really hit or miss on what toys/activities are small enough that they will like. He was too little for stickers or coloring. Mostly, we read books over and over, and played with jumping frog toys. I would recommend experimenting with toys ahead of time to make sure to bring toys that will occupy your kid. I brought things and realized he was either too little for them, or had outgrown them. It's worth putting time in before the trip so you save space and don't end up with a bunch of toys/activities that don't hold your child's interest. Pinterest is a great resource! We brought a Kindle Fire, but we hadn't had it long enough to find good games for Wilder, and he was mostly uninterested. If we were to fly now, he would love the iPad for hours and hours, but he's two. It just depends on your kid.

Favorite sleep sack - so helpful!

How he slept... (flight back)

Handling air time
For the actual flight, Zach and I tag teamed EVERYTHING. Traveling with kids is a TEAM sport. Not to scare anyone, but it is not easy to fly internationally with a baby/child. One of us would hold Wilder while the other ate or went to the bathroom or napped. Most of the flights, I held Wilder in my arms, because that's the only way he would go to sleep. It was a struggle, and it is exhausting. Diaper changes are a great way to walk around the plane and let baby see new sights. It kills time too. Win on all accounts. I brought one diaper for every hour of flight, and some extras, just to be safe. Also an extra shirt for me and an extra set of clothes for him. Plus spit up cloths for mess. Bring their favorite blanket - we love Aden + Anais muslin blankets because they are versatile, fold up small, they're lightweight and warm/cool when you need them to be. We also brought an A+A muslin sleep sack (lighter weight for warm times) and a Halo sleep sack that he lovessss. It's like his lovey, and he knows wearing it means sleep. Don't forget a neck pillow for yourself! We flew across the US when Wilder was 4 months old, and I wore him in a Boba wrap for most of the flight. That was great because he went to sleep and if he fussed, I could easily sway and bounce in the back of the plane.

Babies sometimes cry on planes. It's going to happen. We just did our best to calm him as soon as possible. Everyone was really understanding. I worried so much about people hating us for our baby crying, but in my opinion, if you are actively doing your best to calm your child, people will tend to be more forgiving. The instances that make people mad (in my experience) are when the child runs wild, cries nonstop with no consoling, throws a tantrum and the parents do nothing. Do your best, and people are usually nicer about it.

Final word on the actual travel
One thing I learned this trip was that going to multiple locations is difficult. Much more difficult than going without kids. Packing up and going on a plane/train/care and disrupting baby sleep, confining the child to a car seat--it's all a challenge. If I could recommend anything, it would be to pick one place and stay there. And I say that... but we never do that. lol. If we go abroad, we go all over the place. But now we know what we're in for. Travel days are the hardest part of the trip. Once you get there, it's a lot easier!

I hope this post was helpful. If you have a travel topic you want me to tackle, please let me know!


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